Babil Khan on having suicidal thoughts after his father Irrfan Khan’s death: I didn’t have any will to live

It’s still hard to believe that Irrfan Khan is no more. It’s been a year since he left for the heavenly abode but his legacy lives on through his work and the magic he created through his art. Even though we didn’t know him personally, his death feels like a personal loss. Imagine the pain his family must have felt after his death. It’s indescribable. It’s unfathomable to even imagine the kind of devastation his family experienced upon his death.

On Irrfan’s first death anniversary, his eldest son Babil opened up about how he dealt with the news of his father’s sudden demise. Babil revealed that he went into depression and even had suicidal thoughts as Irrfan was not just his father but also his best friend.

Sharing how he felt helpless and depressed, Babil told Times of India, “For the first few days, Mom was like how is that he is taking it so well? I was running around, doing everything, making sure everything was fine at home and at the hospital. It was really bad, though. I can’t explain the amount of pain he was going through when he was conscious. I particularly remember when they were going to put a catheter, and asked me to leave the room, and he almost yelled, ‘Babil, tum kahin mat jao mujhe chhod ke!’ They pulled me out of the room and he screamed my name. I never felt that much pain and helplessness. I just stood there outside, hearing him scream my name. I dealt with it well in that moment, but after he passed – initially, Mumma was surprised how well I was taking it – but two days after he passed away, I crashed. I just crashed. Everything shut off. I went into deep, deep depression. I can’t even explain. There was no will to wake up. I was very suicidal…”

 

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He went on to add, “I was done. I didn’t have any will to live. I still struggle with it a lot. And at that time, Mumma was the strength. She has always been the strength of our family. Throughout Baba’s career. You know everyone’s like Baba was this, Baba was that – but Baba wouldn’t have been anything without Mumma, she’s been the strength of the family.”

 

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Irrfan was diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumour. He died at the age of 53 on 29 April 2020 due to a colon infection. Very soon Babil will be making his acting debut with Qala.

Also Read: Irrfan Khan Death Anniversary: Late actor’s wife Sutapa Sikdar pens down and emotional note

Pooja Sharma

Cinephile. Bibliophile. Pluviophile. Selenophile. Autophile. Aesthete. Blood group- Tea positive. Poetry lover. Sucker of rom-coms.

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