Depression, Bipolar Disorder and suicide attempt; Shama Sikander fought a battle uphill

Mental illness is far more difficult to deal with, than a physical one. Others can not see it, and the sufferer is rather petrified to tell anyone how miserable they feel. It often pushes you to the edge, making you feel that this life is not worth living any more. Coming back from there and starting afresh is as good as a rebirth. Actress Shama Sikander’s journey wasn’t easier.

Recently, during a conversation with a leading daily, Shama revealed how she has been a sufferer of bipolar disorder and depression; and even attempted to kill herself once. Her former boyfriend Alexx O’Nell found out she was not doing well psychologically and suggested her to seek professional help. Shama, however, too frustrated to even make up her mind about her treatment.

“I even tried to commit suicide one night. I kissed my mother good night and told her not to wake me up. After that, I swallowed several sleeping pills at one go. Just before slipping away, I texted my brother my bank account details, which made him panic. He immediately called my mother to check on me and I was rushed to the hospital three hours later,” she says.

It was after this that she let go of her relationship with Alexx as well, as she felt too burdened; even though the two were deeply in love. All the stress and mood swings were becoming unbearable for her to maintain an argument-free, healthy relationship with anyone.

“I was angry with my family for saving me. I wanted to go and return as a new person. I didn’t see death as the end; rather, it was the beginning of a new life. I didn’t know that a rebirth was possible in the same life. But slowly, my soul awakened and I realised that it was a spiritual calling,” she says, adding that it took her two long years to get back to shape.

“The change in me came from within. I think good thoughts, which is why I look better now,” Shama ends with a smile.

If this does not inspire you, then what else will?

Ranjini Maitra

Journalist. Writer. Reader. Enthu cutlet. Mood-swing machine. Day dreamer. Sandwiched between ‘live life fully’ and ‘lose some weight’. Mantra of life: Love and love more.