Manoj Bajpayee recalls his struggling days; reveals he was ‘close to committing suicide’

Today Manoj Bajpayee is one of the most sought after actors in Bollywood but at the initial years of his career, it was not a bed of roses for him. He had his own share of struggles. In a recent interaction with Humans of Bombay, Manoj opened up about his struggling days and revealed that he even had suicidal thoughts.

He said, “I’m a farmer’s son. I grew up in a village in Bihar with 5 siblings. We went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny.”

He continued with his studies as he couldn’t pursue his dreams of acting. After he shifted to Delhi for higher studies at Delhi University, he started doing theatre. “I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi–Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted,” Bajpayee said.

That year, when he was at a chai shop, Tigmanshu Dhulia came looking for him as Shekhar Kapur wanted to cast him in ‘Bandit Queen’. Then he felt he was ready to move to Mumbai.

He said, “Initially, it was tough–I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face–so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen. All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed.”

After 4 years of struggle, he got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series where his work was noticed and was offered his Bollywood film & then got a ‘big break’ with ‘Satya’.

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On the work front, Manoj Bajpayee was recently seen in SonyLIV film ‘Bhonsle’ for which he is getting rave reviews from the critics and audiences.

Also Read: Manoj Bajpayee says Sushant Singh Rajput’s demise is a personal loss; requests, “Stop celebrating other’s failures”