With the exit of Pahlaj Nihalani, look who’s feeling orphaned!

Sir Pahlaj Nihalani,

Since the time you were removed as the chief of CBFC, I have been suffering from a strong existential crisis. I miss you dearly. Worse, no one can see or understand what it is to be taken away from the fatherly figure who fiercely protected me all this while. From your table’s drawer to the room’s corner and even the dark, cool space under the table, I’ve been running around everywhere for a little space. But these human beings I tell you… they be like, ‘no place for sanskar’!

I’ve been extremely fond of you all this while. So what if your logics themselves were often illogical, or these pseudo-intellectual human beings even found you regressive? Your dedication towards maintaining my goodwill was unquestionable. In the age of phoney liberalism, that is a quality to adore.

The number of filmmakers attempting to make ‘intelligent’ films is suddenly on a rise. This troubles me. Do you know what a traumatising time I had on the sets of ‘Lipstick Under My Burkha’! They explicitly explored women’s fantasies while I cringed in pain.  After all, a widowed woman in her mid-fifties masturbating isn’t what I, being an non-detachable part of Indian culture, would like to happen. Plus, rubbish is what the say, when they claim ‘Burkha’ was only a symbol of oppression. I still suspect it was a religious dig!

I was equally offended with the language they used in ‘Udta Punjab’. So what if all the abuses they used, do exist in our colloquial dictionary and are used in worse senses in real life? A film’s language must be clean, even if it looks and sounds Utopian. Further, what was the need of mentioning ‘Punjab’ in title? I don’t blame anyone for taking offence. When it is a conflict between film vs people’s prejudice, butcher the film, not the prejudice.

I know the ‘Udta Punjab’ makers found their way. So did Alankrita Shrivastava. But you’ve all my admiration for continuing with the fight, for as long as you could. Sooner or later, one day people will come to realise how these so-called bold or progressive films are creating disbelief about age-old social practices and cultures, in the viewers’ minds. I fear, the western culture will ruin ours, by then.

Throughout your tenure, you’ve been mindlessly targeted by the mass media. Remember the ‘intercourse’ controversy, before ‘Jab Harry Met Sejal’ released? Just because they’ve been given the power to question, they even chased you inside an elevator. How unfair is that! Who knows, they could even storm into your house one day. So what that you remained silent and didn’t have a word to answer? You were absolutely right to file an FIR against the the concerned journalist. Such publications, who defend indecency, should be reported!

Who doesn’t know, that the Indian audience has been treated like children for years now? That our films have constantly encouraged them to stay in their own comfort zones? How can we suddenly strike conversations about s*x, drug abuse and political massacres? Filmmakers, who even opt for this, don’t want to earn money or what? I don’t understand these filmmakers. What’s the source behind being such firebands of rebellions?

Your successor Prasoon Joshi says he is not in for censorship. This scares me. Are my days finally over? Will no one force my influence in films now? Do I now await a day when films are only rated, and restricted?

I am looking for the most secret corner of your office right now…

Puzzled and petrified,

Sanskar.

Ranjini Maitra

Journalist. Writer. Reader. Enthu cutlet. Mood-swing machine. Day dreamer. Sandwiched between ‘live life fully’ and ‘lose some weight’. Mantra of life: Love and love more.