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Not once, but twice: When Shabana Azmi tried to commit suicide

Amod Pandit

May 24, 2017
3:09 pm
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Not once, but twice: When Shabana Azmi tried to commit suicide

What little Shabana first felt that day?

“One morning, when Shabana was nine years old and Baba just six, I was giving them their breakfast and picked up a toast from Shabana's plate, saying, 'Betey, Baba's bus will be here soon, so I am giving this toast to him. You have a little more time; I've sent Alice to get some bread and she'll be back any minute.' Shabana left the table silently.” In picture above: Shabana Azmi with parents Shaukat Kaifi and Kaifi Azmi and brother Baba Azmi.

Little Shabana got emotional and left for school

“When Alice returned I called out, 'Shabana, Shabana, come Betey, look your toast is done.' I heard her in the bathroom sobbing as though her heart would break, and rushed to her. The moment she saw me, Shabana hastily wiped away her tears and left for school.” In picture above: Shabana Azmi and her mother Shaukat Kaifi.

The drastic step and gracious survival

“She went to the laboratory and took some nila thotha (Copper Sulfate). Mercifully, the poison had passed its sell-by date. I held my head in despair when Parna, Shabana's best friend from their kindergarten days told me that Shabana had told her, 'Mummy loves Baba more than she loves me.'”

Little Shabana escaped death the second time

“I recall another incident when I told Shabana off quite firmly, because she had been rude to me, only to discover that she had tried the throw herself in front of a train at Grant Road station. Luckily, her school's janitor happened to be standing behind her and managed to pull her back, shouting, 'Baby, Baby what are you doing?' Shabana escaped a second time but I was most distraught and now had to think twice before telling her off.” In picture above: Shabana Azmi with parents Shaukat Kaifi and Kaifi Azmi.

Veteran actress Shabana Azmi was last seen on big screen playing the character of a doting mother Rama Bhanot in the biopic of late Neerja Bhanot, ‘Neerja’ (2016). She delivered a beautiful performance portraying the role of a mother whose daughter gives up her life to save that of many others. We recently came about one of the older interviews of the veteran actress, wherein she spoke of her mother Shaukat Kaifi, who was not just her mother, but also her child, her friend, and above all, a warm and compassionate person who was generous. Shabana’s mother is also a noted theater and film actress known for her performances in classic films like ‘Umrao Jaan’ and ‘Salaam Bombay!’.

Today, Shabana Azmi shares a very warm and happy relationship with her mother; however there was a time when the actress felt alone and deprived of her mother’s love. And shockingly, during this period she tried to kill herself not once but twice. Shaukat Kaifi’s memoir titled ‘Kaifi and I: A Memoir’ reveals about this shocking incident when Shabana Azmi was just 9. Taking excerpts from her book, Shaukat Kaifi has written that “As a little girl Shabana was convinced that I loved Baba (Shaukat’s younger son) more than I loved her. Perhaps, there was some truth in this because Baba’s arrival had filled some of the void left by Khayyam’s (Shaukat’s first born) death.” (Also Check: How his 4-month-old daughter’s death left Govinda shattered and agonised)

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Then one day that moment arrived when little Shabana took this drastic step and here are Shaukat’s statements from her memoir about that incident:

Amod Pandit

Quiet, resonant, and creative, he can be seen immersed in his own world, and puts in his heart and soul into the one passion that he has, Bollywood. His line for survival? Feel happy to be a part of it.