2016 The End movie review: What? How? Why?

Directed By: Jaideep Chopra
Produced By: Jaideep Chopra, Sakshi Chopra, Shikha Parashar Pakhare
Cast: Divyendu Sharma, Rahil Roy, Kiku Sharda, Harshad Chopra, Rahul Roy
Duration: 2 hours 15 minutes
Bollywood Bubble Rating: 0.5/5

So  basically, there’s this film called ‘2016 The End’. Why is the title outdated? Kyun ki, waqt ne kiya haseen sitam. I am now trying to write a review for the same. Everyone seems to know it is a difficult task, because CCD just gave me two sachets of Mankind’s sugar. Mankind? Sugar?

I fetched my bottle of drinking water and ran inside the theatre, wherein they were showing a video, demonstrating how our solar system works. I waited for the ad to finish until I figured out, the film had started.

And now, since I am paid for writing this and you’re our valuable consumer, please don’t exit and increase the bounce rate and damage our SEO. Please!

Sunny (Divyendu Sharma) is fun loving but unemployed. What’s new? Half of the country’s youth are! Sunny has absolutely odd means of earning money. Stealing his dad’s bike’s tyres and selling them off is one such. Rahul (Harshad Chopra) is a stinking rich business honcho’s son. Rahul’s stepmother once used to be his junior in college. Don’t ask me why and how is it so. I don’t know. Rhyme ho gaya!

Rahul is secretly in love with Sheetal (Priya Banerjee). Sheetal has an ugly, fat and horny boss who keeps hitting on her. She neither hits back, nor HITS back. If it was me, I would lock him inside the elevator and disconnect the building’s electricity. But Sheetal prefers wearing a lot of pink blush and crying, and going back to office the next day. Kyun ki, dusri naukri kahan se milegi?

Next is Kiku Sharda urf Asimananda urf Assi. His father is a religious preacher and possesses Rs 10,000 crore of property! But what’s the damn point? Assi keeps dreaming KFC and keeps eating Puri Bhaji. Kyun ki maas nahi khana hai!

These four come across an old scientist who has predicted, the world’s going to end in 141 days. The scientist shows them how rapidly the solar object is nearing Earth. Wait, his calculations are wrong, and only a week is left! On discovering this, he gets a heart attack and dies. Whaaatt?

But, Jeene ke hai paanch din! These guys go to a club, get drunk, fall asleep, and the next morning, discover themselves inside a fancy red car, some 600 kms away from where they are. And interval happens!

I am eagerly waiting for the break to get over. I think the car is some sort of spaceship and the place is a replica of Earth but is actually situated at Mars. Duh, no Mars, it is Madhya Pradesh. Meanwhile, they also discover one crore rupees in cash in the car. Have taken numerous cabs from Bandra to Andheri, never happened to me.

Anyway, they decide to make good use of the money that is not even theirs and set off for Goa. On the way, they halt for a night at one haveli with a fishy Rani Maa who doesn’t allow Assi to eat two extra pieces of chicken tandoori but tries to do BDSM with him at night. Obviously, he runs away. You think anything can compensate for chicken tandoori?

Okay, they are in Goa now. Rahul gathers his damned courage and tells Priya he loves her. I like Rahul. He is proposing to his ladylove four days before dying.

But director Jaideep Chopra couldn’t let the other two guys rot in hell, single. Hence, Assi crashes with one Razia at a Mughlai restaurant, looks at her and falls in love. Next, he follows her with one stick ice-cream in his hand, and confesses his love. If it is all so easy, WTF is wrong with me?

Sunny finds his dream girl, a beautiful foreigner who neither speaks nor understands English. They communicate using Pyar Ki Bhasha. Yes, whatever.

Now, remember the fishy red car and the fishy bundles of money? Decosta, a deadly smuggler, and the original owner of both properties, has found them. After the mandatory Tom and Jerry race, he has tied all of them and will kill them. Sine they’re dying, these guys want to be tied beside their own girlfriends!!!!!!!!

I am so sad, so depressed, so disheartened that I have no opportunity of displaying such love! Anyway, let it go. Decosta is caught by the police. Inspector Pratap Singh (Narendra Jha) concludes with one enlightening speech. Here’s what I liked the most. “Agle Friday ke baarein mein kisko pata? Shayad yeh aap ki akhri film ho?”

Thank heavens, no.

5th October, 2017, the end.

Thank you.

Watch Trailer: