‘Ek Haseena Thi Ek Deewana Tha’ movie review: This film got us in the factory-reset mode

Directed By: Suneel Darshan
Produced By: Suneel Darshan
Cast: Shiv Darshan, Natasha Fernandez, Upen Patel
Duration: 2 hours 20 minutes
Bollywood Bubble Rating: 0.5/5

Ek journalist thi, aur uske paas naukri thi. Hence, on Friday morning, she set off for ‘Ek Haseena Thi Ek Deewana Tha’. Came out fu*ked up and in the process, dropped a box of French fries on her colleague.

I am amazed to an extent that I can’t get myself to gather the story. I’ll go by situations.

There’s this beautiful countryside road by which comes a beautiful car with a beautiful woman (Soni Kaur aka Rita) and a beautiful uncle in it. Haila! Soni Kaur opens her mouth and it ain’t beautiful anymore! In no time, they introduce us to a massive mansion which is being decked up for Natasha (Natasha Fernandez) and Sunny’s (Upen Patel) wedding. I’m fanatically searching for my cheese dip while uncle screams furiously “le jao”! Huh?

Background story alert! In the same house lived Asha, Natasha’s maternal grandmother who fell in love with one of the employees of their estate. Asha’s family members, the rich, spoilt, sanskari brats, burnt the poor guy alive and took Asha away.

Coming back to angry uncle. He discovered a painting of the two inside the mansion. You killed the man and kept his painting in the drawing room? Weird!

Meanwhile, Natasha and Sunny, the soon-to-be married, are driving to the house while they decide to sing to each other and express their love. Makes sense. Love is only until marriage happens. Probably as an outcome of love, too many things happen. Their car breaks down, kaatil hawa takes Natasha’s scarf away and she falls in the river. Before I’ve made out what the goddamn hell just happened, a guy in black shirt, hanging from a rope, rescues her from the water and vanishes.

Ghost! Ghost! Ghost! The ghost is here. I can see the girl is bloody turned on by the ghost. Suneel Darshan didn’t have to do this to his son. Why did he cast Shiv Darshan as a romantic ghost, that too with a waxed chest? We soon learn that the mystery guy is the bhatakti hui atma of Dev, who was killed 55 years ago. He’s now back with the same name and head over heels in love with Natasha, who resembles her nani Asha. Duh! Hence, the film has now turned into a romantic comic horror crime thriller, if something like that exists at all.

I am extremely intrigued at the love triangle, wherein a human is in love with another human but the second human is in love with a ghost; and the ghost is in love with the human too but is confessing to be a ghost himself. Natasha, therefore, decides to kill herself and become a ghost too.

Hey wait, he ain’t a ghost! Someone paid him lot of money to provoke Natasha to commit suicide. Like, what? So this film doesn’t even have a ghost? Why am I being cheated, bruh? Meanwhile, there’s a thrilling fight between the two aashiqs and Sunny pushes Dev down the mountain, straight into the river.

This is amazing stuff. Dev is back, in fresh clothes that too! I’m pinching my colleague and asking him, “Yeh mar gaya ya nahi?” He rolls his eyes. We find it out soon, though. The arguable ghost asked God for some more time and God gave him fourteen days of life. God bloody extended his life! Where was God when our appraisal meetings were going on? God is into nepotism too?

The baap of all twists is yet to happen, and I won’t tell you that. Go find out yourselves, you humans?

The director gives no f*cks to logic. But he gives no f*cks to the audience either, who watched ‘Dhadkan’ and liked it. I’m quite sure he gives no f*cks to his son’s career as well.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling miserable for Upen Patel. This guy is always at the losing end and this time he is losing his girl to a bloody semi-ghost with identity crisis! I can’t write anything about Natasha Fernandez either. Her accent can kill more people than Dhinchak Pooja can. In fact, I can’t write anything about Shiv Darshan either. Ek Darshan kaafi tha.

#OkThanksBye

Watch the trailer here: